One for the road.

Ohio was fantastic. Ohio was home, in fact. Everyone and their Southern drawls, lazy days and awe of Buffalo. I'm growing to let it grow on me. I detoxed for a few days and actually felt alive. Shame that I came home and ran to a pack of Senecas as if it were my life support, but to each his own.

I officially missed people while I was gone. I understand it was only a few days, but I've crumbled my wall and in return built up some amazingness that I enjoy. Some solid ground, if you will.

I get myself into pickles often. A persistent pickle in the middle is how I feel. I'm testing the waters on one end of the pickle, but I just absolutely cannot bring myself to give up the other, sooo so far away, end. An end that could be a great beginning if I were still a dreaming, hopeless romantic. If I wasn't so goddamn cynical. If I shed my skin a little and got a tan. But this other end, shit, it's been good. Great, even? I hesitate to say great because after great things get ambiguous and iffy and.. why not stay at great? I shall. A pickle, indeed.

And, bluntly, why does everyone have a problem with great? Well, only a problem that my back has had the leisurely pleasure of overhearing. hah

Spring fever has gotten so many people riled up. Negatively and positively, but more heavily on the downside. I wonder about many individuals. I've always been a sincerity skeptic, but come on. Or rather, don't. Way too much "sweating the small stuff" when, in fact, there is not nearly enough heat to warrant perspiration. I know too many chronic perspirers (is that a word?) who love sweating the small stuff and actually enjoy making others yearn for a fan and cool drink of water. How do you do this to "good friends"? How do you purposely try to make people feel bad by resorting to the most petty of tactics? Who knows. I sure as fuck don't know, but I'll play along if that is what floats boats around here.

I'm cutting ties, apron strings even. If you're not know you never were. And if you never were, I'm ashamed for trying. And if you were trying, we wouldn't be having this conversation.