Thursday, July 2, 2009

Sometimes I wonder how many more of these encounters I have to stomach before I reach the real thing. I don't like meandering the streets of Buffalo and seeing 6 Degrees of Kevin Bacon of my sexual past. I need to cool my jets, be more selective, blah blah blah. I just need something solid that isn't going to kiss the back of my head while I pretend to sleep.. yet never text/call me again.

I wish people were more up front. When directly asked, I am entirely 100% up front about absolutely anything.

Tonight I felt okay. Good, even. Amazing, possibly. I came home and shittalked and chainsmoked with Nick and was great. No sneaking boys in. No awkward morning afters. Just me. And Pete. And Nick.

I don't want to move out of this apartment. Come August 31st I literally have no home. Nick is moving in with Jon and I'm alone. As much as I want a cute little apartment, I'd rather have what I have now. I just don't like change. Lacey found a beautiful dog for me and I just need someone to watch it for 2 months while I ride out this lease. A cane corso. A fabulous watch dog/companion that I could probably ride to the corner store if I was too lazy. What a beast. I wish my life would just fall into place like a Connect 4 board game. Oh blah.

In less than 3 weeks I will be driving from Las Vegas to Buffalo. I hope I don't come back. I know I always dramatically say that, but I mean it. I want to be left in some hobunk town wearing cowboy boots and eating at greasy spoon diners forever. Buffalo just doesn't feel the same much anymore. Actually, I'm not sure what it's supposed to feel like. Hm, I just don't think this.

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