Every so often I find myself drifting off to some daydream.. it's entire content is hazy and I'm unsure of the semantics, but, overall, the outcome and realization I end up at is always the same.. what made some individuals give up on me? I'd like to say it's socially or in a friendly manner, but frequently I think of it in regards to matters of the romantic heart. What happened? Secretly, I'd love to know. I'd be satisfied superficially with the repetitive and mundane whowhatwherewhen. Even more discretely, I'd be interested in the real gossip. The real juice. The real fucking deal. I guess, not so secretly, I'd like to save face and pretend my past were no longer part of my present and a distant, very distant, landmark in the map of my future. Very, very secretly I'd love to receive anonymous handwritten letters detailing whatwherehowwhen I went wrong.
Part of me would like to think that I was thought of as one of those birds that can't be caged. You know the type. I guess I've only seen the type on Lifetime movies featured Sunday nights after 9pm. Or maybe an occasional Sex and the City episode when Carry Bradshaw isn't fornicating with Manolo Blahniks.
Maybe I don't want to know. No, I don't think I want to know.
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