One for the road.

I feel like absolute SHIT lately.

My body is slowly, but surely shutting down. I need my tonsils out, but I have no insurance.. I am probably going to get fired from the Thruway.. especially since today I ate some "free" fried chicken and my boss screamed at me because I didn't put forth money for Dave's dad's retirement party, which apparently was based solely on fried chicken consumption. Hm, pretty sure I owe him nothing and can help myself to free fried chicken at his expense. Oh well, any situation negative or positive there would be a boost in a non-stagnant direction that I desperately need.

I've gotten close to really weird people lately. Weird in a good way. A weird comfort level that I've accepted with open arms.

I'm glad Nick is here to pick me up when I am literally freaking out. When my thoughts are racing through my mind like Olympic sprinters going for gold. Thoughts of Dave's cancer, Scott, Chris yelling, stupid band girls and band boys that made it through hell to only force a billion fake smiles, stupid infidelity and shots upon shots bought from a boy that couldn't care less. Stupid girls in gigantic high heels that want nothing more than to push towards the bar and fill up on calories of liquor that will compensate for their lack of calories at lunch. I hope I'm not bitter.

I think I should hibernate again. But just not get chubby this time. I guess I just need to paint and get healthy and fix my mental shit that I've been putting off. Seriously.. if seeing Andrew sing songs about cancer can fuck me up that bad, then I'm not okay yet.

Jack's Mannequin/Andrew McMahon make me miss high school. I'm glad I got to talk to Paul. I miss him. It's nice that sending him a video of "Punk Rock Princess" acoustic can open up a whole can of mutual worms full of love.

I miss Stephanie.

P.S. Politics are fucked up.