So Says the Dream

This is going to sound a little weird so bear with me.

Last night I went to a bar to play pool by myself and only had a few beers and a couple shots, thought I was fine, but then remembered the shots were DOUBLE shots, which I hadn't noticed at first, so I was hungover this morning and needed to take a nap after going through the morning routine with Larry.

And I always have wild dreams when I take naps. Just outlandish. But this time my dream was long, pretty steadily focused, vivid, and realistic as all hell.

There were four parts of the dream, that mixed together, and popped up at random times to sort of finish tying ends together. Kind of like Magnolia. But the reason I am writing you is because you were in the dream. We were on a train, and I guess it was present day, Spring, because everything was that fresh sort of green color, outside. Fields of wheat that looked like honeycombs. Watercolor skies, clear as aquariums. Clouds like jellyfish. You know.

And you started to open up to me. I'm not even sure if I've ever heard your voice before, but it sounded familiar. Anyway, you told me that sometimes you lucidly hear music in your head, along with flashes of images, sounds, colors, what have you. They all blur together and it makes it hard for you to focus. But it goes away when you drink. You got a real sad look in your face, when you said that. And we kept talking, I don't remember about what, and you told me you wanted to feel loved, so bad, but hated feeling needy. And your eyes soaked up the scenery flashing by outside of the window.

Unfortunately I don't remember anything else we said.

I'm thinking I just projected my own character onto yours, or someone else's, or made it all up or whatever. That's the likely, psychologically sound conclusion. But I figured I'd at least see if this sounds like you, because if it is, it's kind of neat I dreamt it. And also, if I was dreaming you, I want you to know that there's other ways to get all of those sounds and colors out of your head besides drinking, and there's nothing wrong with wanting to feel loved or being needy-- just make sure you are very particular about who you give your heart to.

So I probably just made an ass out of myself but oh well. I like to believe that life can do bizarre things like this.

- E. Payne.


((It's surreal knowing someone who knows me better than I can ever possibly know myself. And we've never met, but lurked in the same odd vicinity of corn fields and cows for years. I don't know what else to do besides marriage.))