One for the road.

My stomach hurts so fucking bad. I wish they would have given me more pain killers. It's a shame I'm so terrified of taking other people's medicine because something to make me not a scrunched up little ball of pain right now would be awesome.

I really miss Joe. I'm starting to wonder about myself and my inability to forgive or forget or any combination of the two. It would be neat if the premise of Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind could really happen. I guess I'd really like for everyone to have no recollection of the mean things said or bad things done. I hate awkwardness. I hate grudges. I hate whispers. (Maybe I should move out of Buffalo?)

For some odd reason I thought school started January 20th. I've been mentally preparing myself for an okay semester. That's all I want out of myself. No Dean's List, no flashy 4.0. Just an okay mediocore completed semester. In reality, school starts January 26th, which just kind of gives me more time to freak out over it.

I really love Nicholas to death. I'm very lucky to have such an understanding, protective, and caring brother. I'm also thankful for Ana and Court. No one likes getting up at 7am, let alone sitting 5 hours in a waiting room, but they didn't complain and made me feel okay about everything. Things aren't so bad.

I'm so broke I think I'm getting a job at FedEx with Nick. Watch out, I'll be a buff package handler in no time.

Ouch ouch ow ouch ow ow.