Did your heart break enough this tiiiiiime?

The simple word "emotional" describes me so well lately. I watched a full episode of A Baby Story (hey now, don't judge) yesterday and was practically hysterically crying when the (still young) older brothers were telling their new baby brother "You now have my heart!" in their adorable and innocent 6 year old voices.

If only everyone I knew could be as honest as a 6 year old.

Life has too many options. It reminds me of Coldstone when I stand in line with a very vague idea of what I'd like to feast on. I think I have it all figured out, but once the outwardly flamboyant worker asks me what special treats I'd like to toss into my Cake Batter ice cream, I lose it. I am at a loss for words and all of the clear jars filled to the brim with unknown substances make me entirely antsy. I always panic and include the same old, same old ingredients of white chocolate chips, twix bar and caramel. I want to go wild. I vow to add some gummy bears of sprinkles or maybe fresh fruit.

My metaphors are ridiculously ambiguous. Maybe I should take my own advice and be as honest as a 6 year old?

I don't even really like chicken wings that much.. ?

(I am a disaster!)

Soo.. exactly how many 'd's have you 's'ed in Buffalo?!

I'll be the first to admit that I will NEVER get over bullshit. Especially if it happened anywhere in the time frame of 2004-now.

In my previous life, I was a professional at the "act like you're having a blast" mentality. Fast forward to now, and acting seems irrelevant, foolish and non-existent. I am enjoying this.

Did you ever hear the phrase "One green potatoe chip ruins the whole bag?" So true. And when one really tasty, crispy and golden brown potatoe chip decides to leave.. it leaves such a void in the foil-lined bag that all the rest of the potatoe chips just cannot fill. I am going to miss Courtney not living 5 floors up anymore. Yes yes, she is only moving two streets and 4 blocks down, but who I am going to chain smoke and talk (girl) shit with on the roof? With whom will I throw wine-soaked fruit onto innocent pedestrians from the roof? Who will appreciate the roof as much as me without putting it into words, just appreciating silence? Poo.

(I think Nick and I are making plans to move in August so we can get a dog. I talked to him about it last night and he wholeheartedly agreed that our lives are missing a crucial, fuzzy and drooling puzzle piece.)

I hate that I base opinions before truly, truly knowing people. But do you ever really know someone? Hearsay is bullshit, but come on. I dated Dave for 3 and a half years and I still feel as though his innerworkings are a mystery to me. At least I can openly admit to people that I've done this and am currently doing it. I just don't want to get hurt or tricked or deceived. I'm grateful that when I am completely honest, other people are kind of okay with it. We talk it out and appreciate eachother's positition and honesty. Quite possibly the most honest text conversation I have had to date. Maybe he's not such a bad dude afterall, but probably not the best dude to hold my hand. I shall save a dance.

A few months ago, I was getting my haircut at Parkway. Charlene always does this swivel the chair so I face Pano's thing that I laugh about.. because people walk by and see my hair all a mess and I have no choice but to blankly stare out onto Elmwood. I usually see someone I know, and they wave, and I fumble with my hands under the apron. That particular day, a very handsome couple was getting a quick meal at Pano's. They drove separately, and were saying their goodbyes in the parking lot as it started to sprinkle light rain. The good-looking man grabbed the gorgeous blonde girl and dipped her nearly to the asphalt as he playfully kissed her. She laughed like I've never seen anyone laugh before. He did it again and again and you could almost feel their embrace become more loving. My eyes watered and my thoughts raced.. "This happens in real life?!" The older man who owns the salon looked at me and coyly smiled, "Love's beautiful, ain't it?" A cynical divorcee getting an unncessary perm gruffly said "That's bullshit." Yesterday I saw the same couple walking down Elmwood, hand in hand. It kind of made me feel good inside.

I awake expecting a semi-brutal hangover, but instead my face just hurts. The kind of hurt that can only be blamed on hours of laughing and smiling. Not even forced laughing or smiling. Genuine, sincere and spontaneous.

Hearing Gwyn say "I am having a lot of fun!" over and over again was worth enduring an Army boy vomit unsightly vegetarian food onto the concrete in front of Tudor. Man down. I hope we really do go to the Army Ball. It will surely be a time that we will be relaying to our diaries later on, once the evening is over. The only downside.. my potential date is the Man Down Army Man. haha!

I hope she stays strong. It was rough seeing someone go through the same problem I did awhile ago. You feel like you're stuck in quicksand sinking and there is no way out. I hope somehow we were there for her.

I am wondering why I've spent the last couple of months yearning for someone's affection and attention, who ultimately wasn't into who I am as a human being. Wasn't ready to even give me that affection and attention. With people in my life who will deliver scrambled eggs at 8am to my apartment, I don't know why I need much else. Everything else is just a spice that I could do without. I will do without. Spices ruins scrambled eggs, anyhow.

Some people are settling down, some people are settling, and some people refuse to settle for anything less than butterflies.

It boggles my mind when people detest Sex and the City.

Furthermore, 90% of life/relationship situations can be directly related to this series.

Get over SJP's face resembling a shoe, already!


P.S. I'm oddly excited for Dave's Cancer Party/Prom thing. I never went to Prom and I think it could either be a really awkward time, or a really good time. Each of those options I am okay with.

P.P.S. If I spent every day of the rest of this nice Buffalo weather on top of my roof drinking homemade Sangria, I'd die happy. Really fucking happy.

"The only one who should have to pay for a bad relationship.. is the person in your next relationship."

I woke up this morning and laughed until my cheeks hurt. I had a dream that I suddenly got ambitious and started my own business. The business was called "Boobs of Lust." Haha, I will explain.. I thought about it for awhile and realized my books are too big for my body. Why not donate them? It was a company based on the premise of "Locks of Love" except I think a girl finally appropriately filling out a C-cup is more satisfying than getting a wig of someone else's hair.

What a dream, I should get this business off the ground!